The Baby Shower
by cleotheo
Summary: Narcissa throws Hermione and Draco a surprise baby shower when they are expecting their first child, which leads to extra surprises for the guests when they discover something Draco hasn't told his friends. Light-hearted, one shot.


**A/N - This is just a light hearted one shot. Well at least it's a one shot for now. I might write a sequel in the future, depending on how this goes down. Just to let you know, there's no war in this story so Fred is alive. Enjoy!**

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Hermione and Draco Malfoy were enjoying a lazy Sunday together when they remembered they were due at Malfoy Manor for afternoon tea. Normally the pair had no problem with visiting Draco's parents, but they were rather settled where they were. Hermione was seven months pregnant, and they knew peaceful Sundays would soon be a thing of the past when they welcomed their son into the world.

"Do you think we can cancel?" Hermione asked as the pair mulled over the prospect of getting ready to go out.

"Cancel on Mother?" Draco raised a sceptical eyebrow at his wife. "Do you have a death wish?"

"She's not that scary," Hermione protested, even though she didn't sound too confident.

"Next time you say that, try to sound as though you mean it," Draco said with a laugh.

"Okay, maybe your mother can be a bit formidable," Hermione conceded. "But I'm sure she'd understand if we cancelled."

"Really?" Draco gave Hermione another sceptical look. "Do you want to do the honours and let her know you want to cancel?"

"Can't you do it?" Hermione pouted. "Aren't you supposed to cater to your pregnant wife's every need? Do you want me to get all hormonal and angry?"

"I'm just thinking about the hormonal, angry Mother I'd have to deal with if we cancelled," Draco retorted. "I can charm my pregnant wife and make sure she doesn't stay angry at me, but it's a different matter with my pregnant mother. Somehow I don't think my charms are going to work quite the same way on her."

Much to Draco and Hermione's surprise, a few months after they'd discovered they were expecting, his parents had discovered the exact same thing. Narcissa was now five months along, and she was driving Hermione mad with comparing pregnancies. It was especially frustrating for Hermione since her mother-in-law had no boundaries, and often asked the most inappropriate questions, like what her sex drive was like now she was pregnant.

"No, I don't suppose they would," Hermione replied with a chuckle as she conceded it was best they headed to the manor.

"You know if Mother bothers you with her constant comparisons about pregnancies, just tell her," Draco advised as the pair began to get ready. "She won't take offence."

"Sure she won't," Hermione snorted. "With her pregnancy she's more sensitive than normal. Besides, I don't want to upset her. Most of the time, she's amazing. I could just do without hearing about how irresistible she's finding Lucius at the moment."

"Please don't," Draco protested with a groan. "It's bad enough my parents are having another child, I really don't need to think about how it's affecting their sex life."

"Certainly not in a negative way," Hermione muttered. Narcissa had told her more than enough for her to know that if anything her pregnancy had only increased their sexual activity.

"Can we stop talking about my parents' sex lives?" Draco begged.

"Okay, but I bet you any money some sort of sexual reference will be made when we're at the manor. Sometimes I don't think your father can help himself, and with her pregnancy your mother isn't much better."

"Damn randy parents getting pregnant at their age," Draco grumbled under his breath as he and Hermione finished getting ready.

Half an hour later, Draco and Hermione were ready to go to the manor. They'd spent all morning lounging around in casual clothes, but they'd changed to go to the manor. Lucius and Narcissa didn't exactly have a dress code, but they did like people to look smart. Neither Hermione nor Draco would dream of showing up at his parents' house looking anything other than their best.

With Hermione's pregnancy, the floo network was the safest way for her to travel so Draco connected their floo to the one at the manor. When they arrived at the manor, they landed in a special room for people travelling by floo. Lucius and Narcissa were waiting for them, and Hermione was immediately swept into a hug by Narcissa.

"You're looking lovely, Hermione," Narcissa gushed.

"So are you," Hermione returned as she stepped out of her mother-in-law's arms.

"You're showing," Draco remarked, his grey eyes widening when he spotted his mother had an obvious baby bump. It had been much easier to deal with his mother's pregnancy when it wasn't obvious, but now it was plain to see that he would soon have a brother or a sister.

"I am," Narcissa replied with a smile as her hand caressed her small bump.

"We've got another scan next week," Lucius added, beaming happily as he slipped his arm around his wife's waist. "We can find out the sex of the baby if we want."

"Are you going to?" Hermione asked. She and Draco had debated finding out the sex of their baby for weeks, before finally deciding to find out. They now knew they were having a little boy.

"We're undecided," Narcissa replied. "Now enough about us, today is all about you two and your baby."

"I thought we were just having afternoon tea," Draco said with a puzzled frown.

Narcissa laughed lightly as she linked arms with Hermione and began leading her daughter-in-law towards the doors that led to the vast gardens. "It's so much more than afternoon tea."

Arriving in the garden, Draco and Hermione were taken aback by what greeted them. The garden was decked out in a variety of blue decorations. Streamers hung from the back walls of the manor, bunches of balloons were weighted down around the garden, and big stuffed animals were littered around the place. Even the garden furniture had been reupholstered so it was baby blue. And finally, on the patio was a large table crammed full of food and drink, including a display of cupcakes with blue icing and little baby decorations.

"Surprise," Narcissa cried. "Welcome to your baby shower. Everyone else will be arriving shortly."

"Everyone else?" Draco questioned as Hermione continued to look around the garden in awe. "Who have you invited?"

"All your friends," Narcissa replied with a wide smile. "Don't worry, I got Daphne to give me a list so I wouldn't forget anyone."

Hermione and Draco shared a look, knowing that likely meant all of their closest friends would be arriving over the next few minutes. That meant all of Draco's old school friends, all of Hermione's, and a large portion of the Weasley family. Hermione doubted her parents would be on the guest list as they'd moved abroad just after she'd left Hogwarts. Plus, there was the fact they'd never really come to terms with the fact she was a witch, especially one whose life was firmly in the wizarding world with Draco.

"Great," Draco said with a tight smile. He hadn't actually told any of his friends about his mother's pregnancy, but it looked like they were all going to find out.

"This is okay, isn't it?" Narcissa asked, picking up on her son's less than enthusiastic response to the baby shower."

"It's perfect Narcissa," Hermione reassured her mother-in-law as she gave her a hug. "Thank you, so much."

With a relieved smile, Narcissa grabbed Lucius and headed into the house to wait for their guests to arrive. With a groan, Draco dropped into one of the garden chairs while Hermione examined one of the large stuffed toys. There had to be at least a dozen of the toys scattered across the garden, and she suspected her parents-in-law had bought them as baby gifts.

"Don't look so miserable, I'm sure this will be great," Hermione said to her husband as she settled down beside him.

"Yeah, it might have been if people actually knew about mother's pregnancy," Draco retorted. "But no-one knows, not even Blaise. It'll be all everyone will be talking about, just wait and see."

As it turned out, Draco was only half right. Before the first guest arrived, Narcissa had gone off to use the bathroom. While she hadn't been gone that long, practically everyone arrived together and they were all out in the garden before she made her appearance. Of course the second Narcissa appeared in the garden, conversations stopped and all eyes were on here.

"Bloody hell, Narcissa," Draco's best friend, Blaise Zabini, cried. "You're pregnant."

"Thank you for letting us know Blaise, we hadn't realised," Lucius drawled as his wife settled down in the seat beside him.

"Congratulations," Daphne Greengrass, Blaise's girlfriend, offered to the happy couple. She was slightly taken aback by Narcissa's bump as she'd only seen the older witch a couple of weeks ago and there'd been no indication she was pregnant.

"You kept this quiet, Draco," Fred Weasley said with a laugh.

"Yeah, aren't you happy to be getting a little brother or sister," George added with a mischievous smirk.

"Overjoyed," Draco replied with a roll of his eyes. To be honest, he didn't mind his parents having a second child, the timing was just a bit suspect considering he was about to become a father for the first time.

"I think I'd freak out if my parents were having another baby," Theo Nott remarked. "I mean just the thought of my parents having sex is horrifying."

"I agree, old people should not have sex," Pansy Parkinson added with a nod of her head.

"We are not that old," Lucius protested.

"You're old enough that you should remember protection," Draco shot back.

"Like you did?" Lucius questioned with a smirk, causing most people to laugh. Everyone knew Hermione's pregnancy was a result of Draco and Hermione forgetting to cast the contraceptive charm when they'd gotten carried away at a party.

"I'm not so sure protection is all it's cracked up to be," George's wife, Angelina sighed. "I've been on the contraceptive potion for years, and I've still ended up pregnant."

Angelina had only just discovered her pregnancy, but George had been so excited, the news had spread to everyone within a day of Angelina telling him they were going to be parents. As such, everyone knew the couple were expecting even though it was pretty early days.

"I've got a confession to make there," George said sheepishly. "Although, I first want to say all of this is Fred's fault."

"Don't tell me you let your brother get your wife pregnant," Blaise laughed. "I know you two are close, but that's taking it to extremes."

"Well Fred and Angelina did once go out together," Ginny teased.

"It was one date," Fred protested. "And to be fair, Ange only agreed to go out with me because she thought I was George."

"Is that true?" Hermione asked Angelina.

"Yes," Angelina admitted with a sheepish nod. "But it's not my fault, they're always pretending to be each other. Back in school, you could never tell which twin was which."

"It was the same at home," Ron Weasley said with a laugh. "Mum was always getting them mixed up."

"I was not," Molly Weasley protested from where she was stiffly sitting in a garden chair. An afternoon at the Malfoys wasn't her idea of fun, but she would cope because it was for Hermione and the brunette witch was like family. "I always knew which son was which."

"You did not," Fred laughed. "Even now, we can still confuse you."

"So, Fred got Angelina pregnant. How does that explain the potion not working?" Blaise asked. "Do you take some sort of special potion designed to stop one person impregnating you?"

"Fred did not get me pregnant," Angelina protested. "I know the difference between my husband and my brother-in-law."

"So what happened then?" Draco asked George. "How is Angelina's pregnancy, Fred's fault?"

"It all started when Fred and Lee whisked me out for the night and proceeded to get me stinking drunk," George began.

"Yeah, it was all our fault," Fred snorted. "We held you down and forced you to drink. If I remember correctly, it was your idea to do shots."

George waved his hand, dismissing his twin's protestations. "As I was saying, Fred and Lee got me completely hammered. When I got home I decided to take a hangover potion. It's never nice to wake up with a bad head. Anyway, I'd drowned the entire bottle before I realised I'd taken Ange's contraceptive potion."

"What?" Angelina cried as laughter echoed around the garden. "But I was taking my potion until I found out I was pregnant, you can't have drank it all."

"I topped it up with hangover potion," George answered with a shrug. "I thought it was a good idea at the time. I meant to fix it, but I sort of forgot."

"I've been taking hangover potion to stop me getting pregnant," Angelina remarked as the laughter grew louder at George's latest confession.

"Look on the bright side, at least you've never had a hangover in the last few months," Blaise laughed.

"And it seems contraceptive potions don't work on men," Theo added thoughtfully. "That's interesting."

"How is that interesting?" Pansy asked, looking at Theo warily. "Unless, that's what you use as contraception. If it is, remind me never to sleep with you."

"Of course I don't use a potion, I use the charm," Theo replied. "I just think it's interesting that the potion doesn't work the same in men."

"Who really cares how it works," George said with a shrug. "Everything worked out perfect for Ange and I."

"It's a proper little baby boom," Ginny remarked. "We should have had the baby shower for everyone."

"We can hold a separate baby shower for everyone," Narcissa said. "Today is all about Draco, Hermione and their son."

"You never would have thought," Draco said with a roll of his eyes. Despite his words, everyone knew Draco was joking and didn't mind that all the attention wasn't on himself and his wife.

"Why don't we open presents," Narcissa suggested brightly.

Narcissa's idea was greeted by enthusiasm all round, and for the next half hour Draco and Hermione opened presents from all their friends. By the time they were finished, they had clothes, toys, practical items and even furniture for their new addition to the family. Just looking at all the presents from her friends, Hermione knew she wouldn't need much else for the baby. In fact, she didn't even know if everything would even fit in the nursery at home.

"Don't worry about that," Narcissa said when Hermione mentioned her worries about space. "Anything that doesn't fit at your home, can stay in the nursery here."

"Your baby's nursery?" Draco asked with a frown.

"Our baby's nursery," Narcissa corrected. "Your father and I have been talking, and we've decided to do two nurseries. One will be for our little bundle, and the second one will be for when our grandson is also staying with us. On those occasions, we can put both babies in the one nursery."

"These kid are going to be so disturbed," Draco whispered to Hermione as Narcissa continued to gush about her plans for a double nursery.

"Ssh," Hermione hissed to her husband as she tried to stop herself from laughing.

Luckily Narcissa didn't notice anything, and the afternoon continued to pass with everyone enjoying themselves. Even Molly and Arthur started to relax more as time wore on and people began to nibble at the buffet.

"Is that a swing, further down the garden?" Blaise suddenly asked Lucius. "I could have sworn it wasn't here last time I was at the manor."

"It's a new addition," Lucius replied with a smirk.

"My parents have a swing like that in their back garden," Theo said.

"Oh we know," Lucius said with a chuckle. "In fact, it was your parents who provided us with the inspiration to get a garden swing."

"It is a pretty nice swing," Theo said. "I'm rather fond of it."

"So are we, Theo, so are we," Lucius said.

"What are we missing?" Blaise asked. He knew Lucius well enough to know there was something the older man wasn't sharing with the group.

"Nothing," Draco answered quickly as he shot his father a warning glare. "There's no story here."

"Of course there is," Fred laughed. "Don't be a spoil sport Draco, we want to hear the story."

"Trust me, you don't," Draco muttered with a grimace.

Having known the Malfoys for so long, Blaise quickly cottoned on to what was going on and he burst out laughing. "You didn't, Lucius."

"I did," Lucius replied with a smug grin. "And it was a hell of a lot of fun."

"Did what?" Theo frowned. "I'm totally confused here."

"Get with the programme Theo," Blaise chuckled. "Lucius and Narcissa had a bit of fun on your parents swing, hence the reason they bought their own."

"By fun, do you mean sex?" Theo asked, going pale at the thought of his parents' swing being used in such a way, especially as he was only sitting on it a few days ago.

"In actual fact, the baby was conceived on the swing," Lucius announced.

"You were right Draco, we really didn't want to know," Harry Potter muttered with a shudder, while several other people broke up in hysterics.

"Live a little Potter," Blaise urged. "Haven't you every gotten a bit frisky somewhere you shouldn't have?"

"No," Harry replied immediately.

"Really?" Blaise questioned, raising a sceptical eyebrow at Harry's fiancée, Ginny. The youngest Weasley had a bit of a reputation as a wild thing, and he didn't for one minute believe she hadn't corrupted Harry in some small way.

"Well, maybe once or twice," Harry conceded as Blaise continued to stare at him.

"That's the spirit Potter," Blaise said with a grin. "Personally, I'm proud of you Lucius. I hope I can still get it up as much as you when I'm your age."

"How many times, I'm not that old," Lucius complained. "And I have no problems with performance. I've never once struggled to 'get it up' as you say. I can keep my wife completely satisfied, even if she is a bit sex mad at the moment."

"Really?" Blaise asked with interest as he glanced over to where Narcissa was laughing with Angelina and Fred's fiancée, Alicia. "Narcissa is sex mad, is she? And what's that like? I bet it's awesome. Your wife is so hot."

"Blaise," Draco groaned as he hauled himself up from his chair. "I'm going for a walk before I hear even more disturbing things."

Blaise and Lucius just laughed at Draco as he helped Hermione to her feet and the pair headed across the lawn. When they reached the newly installed swing, they debated if it was safe to use, before deciding to risk it and sit down. Even if Lucius and Narcissa had test drove the swing, it still looked rather appealing.

"This is the weirdest baby shower ever," Draco remarked as they watched their friends at the top of the garden.

"It is," Hermione agreed. "How many baby showers do you attend where the grandmother to be is also a mother to be? Not to mention the swapping of bizarre conception stories."

"Let's just be pleased we didn't share ours," Draco muttered.

"Everyone knows ours," Hermione pointed out. Their baby was conceived at Harry and Ginny's engagement party, and everyone knew it as the pair had almost been caught shagging in the gardens. "And at least it doesn't involve a swing."

"Although this swing does seem like good fun," Draco remarked as they sat gently swaying on his parents' new swing.

"That is fun, you'll never know," Hermione said with a chuckle. "I am not having sex on your parents' garden swing. And we aren't getting our own as everyone will know what we're up to."

Draco gave his wife a mock pout, which she quickly put an end to by pressing her lips against him. The pair kissed for a few minutes, before Draco's hands started wandering and Hermione called a halt to proceedings. Not trusting her husband to behave himself so far away from their friends, Hermione took hold of Draco's hand and the pair re-joined the party.

"What is going on?" Draco asked as he arrived back in time to see Lucius handing out business cards to all the men present, Arthur Weasley being the exception.

"I'm just passing on the joy," Lucius answered.

"Garden swings," Blaise explained with a grin as he pocketed the card he'd just taken from Lucius. "Lucius is giving us the card of the wizard he got his from."

"You're all getting garden swings?" Draco asked in amazement, his gaze falling to Hermione's two best friends. He could well picture Blaise and Theo jumping on his father's idea, and even the twins, but Harry and Ron were a different story.

"You never know when it might come in handy," Harry said with a shrug.

"Yeah, it'll be something to talk about at parties," Ron added.

"You're all unbelievable," Draco replied with a shake of his head as he turned and headed in the direction he wife had gone.

"What's going on over there?" Hermione asked as Draco arrived at her side and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Father's encouraging everyone to get a sex swing," Draco answered. "By this time next week we'll be the only ones without a garden swing."

"Maybe we ought to reconsider then," Hermione said with a mischievous smile. "We don't want to be missing out on anything."

Draco chuckled at his wife and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. However, a few minutes later he cornered Lucius and slipped one of the business cards in his pocket. If a garden swing was good enough for his parents, it was good enough for him and Hermione to try. Although, he did concede they might have to wait until after she'd had the baby. Sex on a garden swing didn't seem the brightest idea when his wife was seven months pregnant.

Right now, their focus was on having their first child and all the trials it would bring. Not least of all, having to contend with his mother giving birth just months after them. One thing Draco knew for sure, it wasn't going to be boring bringing up the next generation of Malfoys, not with Narcissa raising his baby brother or sister at the same time. The next few years were definitely going to be interesting, and heaven help Hogwarts when it was time for the pair to start school. Whoever would have thought that the next Malfoys to head to Hogwarts would be Draco's son and sibling and that they would be attending together? Life certainly was strange at times, and no-one knew that better than Draco Malfoy.

 **The End.**


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